I'm not anything special. I'm just a girl living her life and trying
to find her place in this world. There isn't anything really worth
mentioning about me, i'm stubborn sometimes, I mess things up. I fall
down sometimes. And sometimes all I can do is cry.
My name is Natalie Katherina, and this is my story. or more
specifically, a chapter in the story of my life.
My story isn't over yet, in fact, it is just starting to begin. A new
chapter unfolds every day, and there's always something unexpected
hidden among the pages.
I haven't been through any kind of terrible tragedy. I haven't had my
whole world turned upside down by an event in my life shattering it's
way into my existance.
I've lived and I've learned. I've made mistakes, I've been heartbroken.
I've thought I was in love, only to be left wondering what love really
is.
I don't take any credit to what I've become. Yes, I've had to work at
building my character, and yes, I've gone through things that made me
stronger, things that at the time I wished I never had to go through.
But ultimutely what got me here was the Grace of my Savior.
I don't always trust him like I should. I have to remind myself that
it's not all about me. About how small and insignificant I really am.
When it comes down to it, I really don't mean a thing. But He died for
me. So that being said, I want to LIVE for Him. He has put people in
my life who I couldn't be more blessed by. I couldn't ask for anything
more. although there are things I wish I didn't have to go through, I
know it's all a part of his plan. He works everything out for Good.
I am here to let you know that your story is beautiful and one of a
kind. It is a struggle sometimes, but there are pages ahead that will
take your breath away. Hold on through the hard times, and when you
finally reach those beautiful chapters, you will be so glad you held
on. I know I am.
I just want you to know you are not alone. You are loved more than you
can immagine and you are surrounded by people who want to lift you up
when you fall.
reach out to them, and don't give up.
that's what operation outkast is about, spreading hope and love,
spreading Christ. It's about the people around us, and the ones who
need a hand to hold. it's about making a difference in this darkened
world. Being a voice in the silence, and a movement in stillness.
Wake up the sleeping generation around you and take action!
Please talk to us here at Operation Outkast. Let us know what is going
on in your life. We care about you and we are here to listen, help,
reach out, and pray for you.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Letters To God
Dear God, you're amazing. Your love for me and everything you've done
in my life. I love you so much!
Dear God, why did you make me this way?
Dear God, You're in control. I see how you have worked everything
together for good. What happened, was all part of your plan, and the
pain I went through was to bring me closer to you. And God, through
that, I am able to relate to different people more. God, thank you for
being in control.
Dear God, why can't people see my pain?
Dear God, I SCREWED UP AND CAN NEVER BE FORGIVEN. I BLEW IT! God, I
totally messed up. How can you even look at me and say you love me? I
am so horrible. How can you love me? HOW?
Dear God, I love you and I'm so sorry for everything I've done. God,
I'm broken now, and I need you to help me. I can't do this alone.
Dear God, why can't I be like them? why do I feel so worthless?
Dear God, I understand now..
We often write these kind of letters to God.
it depends on the day. it depends on the situation. we question God.
we yell at God. We laugh at God.
in my life. I love you so much!
Dear God, why did you make me this way?
Dear God, WHY did this happen?!?HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME??!! WHY
DID YOU TAKE EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME? WHY GOD, WHY?!?
DID YOU TAKE EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME? WHY GOD, WHY?!?
Dear God, You're in control. I see how you have worked everything
together for good. What happened, was all part of your plan, and the
pain I went through was to bring me closer to you. And God, through
that, I am able to relate to different people more. God, thank you for
being in control.
Dear God, why can't people see my pain?
Dear God, I SCREWED UP AND CAN NEVER BE FORGIVEN. I BLEW IT! God, I
totally messed up. How can you even look at me and say you love me? I
am so horrible. How can you love me? HOW?
Dear God, I love you and I'm so sorry for everything I've done. God,
I'm broken now, and I need you to help me. I can't do this alone.
Dear God, why can't I be like them? why do I feel so worthless?
Dear God, I understand now..
When we say "I screwed up big time."
God says "Youre forgiven. I love you."
God says "Youre forgiven. I love you."
When we say "I'm not beautiful."
God says "I created you, and you are perfect. I love you."
God says "I created you, and you are perfect. I love you."
when we say "I'll never be good enough."
God says "no one is good enough. but I work through you and acomplish
great things through you. I love you"
God says "no one is good enough. but I work through you and acomplish
great things through you. I love you"
when we say "why can't I be like them?"
God says "I created you as YOU. and you're the only YOU. that will
EVER live. you are perfect in my sight. I love you."
God says "I created you as YOU. and you're the only YOU. that will
EVER live. you are perfect in my sight. I love you."
when we say "I can't do this on my own"
God says "my grace is sufficiant for you, and I will be your strength.
in your weakness my strength is made perfect. I love you"
God says "my grace is sufficiant for you, and I will be your strength.
in your weakness my strength is made perfect. I love you"
when we ask "why God, WHY?"
he says "I am in control and I know what's best for you. I see the big
picture. sometimes I say no because I know it will hurt you if I say
yes. I love you."
he says "I am in control and I know what's best for you. I see the big
picture. sometimes I say no because I know it will hurt you if I say
yes. I love you."
We often write these kind of letters to God.
it depends on the day. it depends on the situation. we question God.
we yell at God. We laugh at God.
we praise God, we say we love him. we worship him.
we question him again.
we are angry at him again.
we are angry at him again.
we are in love with him again.
and all the time, when we constantly change.. God never changes.
and he Always says "I love you."
no matter what we are saying to him. he replies back in a still quiet
voice "I love you"
and he Always says "I love you."
no matter what we are saying to him. he replies back in a still quiet
voice "I love you"
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Thoughts.. people FAIL..
It seems that we often wrap everything around others. We wrap our time
around them, our lives around them. We wrap our hearts around them,
and arms around them. It seems like people are the reason for things
we do. Like they are the reason we are living. The reason for our
happiness.
But in truth, I will tell you what people are. You may not like to
hear it, but here it is. People are FAILURES. If we are constantly
looking to someone else to fufill us, we are going to be disappointed.
They will always come short, because one person cannot be everything.
They can't possibly have enough energy to be there for others and help
themselves as well ALL the time. Now, am I saying that since people
are obviously going to fail us at one point or another, we shoudlnt
reach out to them? No. I'm not saying that. People are wonderful.
Friends are amazing to have. That one person you can talk to about
anything, who is there for you when things get hard. That's so awesome.
but if we look to people to fufill us, we are going to be sold short.
So this creates a problem. If people fail.. what are we supposed to
do? we can depend on eachother only so much before things start to
pressurize and it becomes to the point of suffocation..
There's someone who doesn't fail.
and someone who is always always always there.
and sometimes he will make himself known through other people. he uses
the the people around you to help
you through stuff.
But he wants you to reconize him as being the ultimute source of life
and happiness.
HE is the reason we live. and he is the only one who can make us
complete.
He created people to love, and be loved. He gives us friends to help
us through hard times. But ultimutely he is the one we should turn to.
He loves us more than any other human could.
because he is the creator of the heavens and the earth. Because he
knows us, he knew us before we were born. becuase he DIED for us. and
he tells us that he will never leave us, or forsake us.
he's right there, but so many people reject his love. they look to
people and for a while, it's enough. but over time, without God, it
doesn't work. it fails us.
God has so much more planned for our lives, if we choose to follow him.
rejecting him is like walking up to the cross, and looking up at
Christ, who is bleeding, suffereing, crying out in anguish. It's like
standing there, and saying "this isn't enough. forgiveness isn't
enough. Christs death isn't enough."
so what is enough?
around them, our lives around them. We wrap our hearts around them,
and arms around them. It seems like people are the reason for things
we do. Like they are the reason we are living. The reason for our
happiness.
But in truth, I will tell you what people are. You may not like to
hear it, but here it is. People are FAILURES. If we are constantly
looking to someone else to fufill us, we are going to be disappointed.
They will always come short, because one person cannot be everything.
They can't possibly have enough energy to be there for others and help
themselves as well ALL the time. Now, am I saying that since people
are obviously going to fail us at one point or another, we shoudlnt
reach out to them? No. I'm not saying that. People are wonderful.
Friends are amazing to have. That one person you can talk to about
anything, who is there for you when things get hard. That's so awesome.
but if we look to people to fufill us, we are going to be sold short.
So this creates a problem. If people fail.. what are we supposed to
do? we can depend on eachother only so much before things start to
pressurize and it becomes to the point of suffocation..
There's someone who doesn't fail.
and someone who is always always always there.
and sometimes he will make himself known through other people. he uses
the the people around you to help
you through stuff.
But he wants you to reconize him as being the ultimute source of life
and happiness.
HE is the reason we live. and he is the only one who can make us
complete.
He created people to love, and be loved. He gives us friends to help
us through hard times. But ultimutely he is the one we should turn to.
He loves us more than any other human could.
because he is the creator of the heavens and the earth. Because he
knows us, he knew us before we were born. becuase he DIED for us. and
he tells us that he will never leave us, or forsake us.
he's right there, but so many people reject his love. they look to
people and for a while, it's enough. but over time, without God, it
doesn't work. it fails us.
God has so much more planned for our lives, if we choose to follow him.
rejecting him is like walking up to the cross, and looking up at
Christ, who is bleeding, suffereing, crying out in anguish. It's like
standing there, and saying "this isn't enough. forgiveness isn't
enough. Christs death isn't enough."
so what is enough?
Sunday, September 26, 2010
In Focus
One of my friends on Facebook posted this verse as her status:
"But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how is it that you turn back again to the weak and worthless elemental things, to which you desire to be enslaved all over again?" Galations 4:9
This could be spread out into a million different lessons, but when I read it...I thought about how easily my emotions get run over by silly, petty things. I don't even think about it. I just let it control me, my thoughts, what I talk about. I too often meditate on MY problems, when in reality, they're not problems at all. They're just...dumb. Situations like the dog waking me up too early, realizing there's a stain on my white shirt, not getting my coffee fix in the morning, having heart strings pulled at, etc. The list goes on and on.
How many times do I wake up in the morning and say, "I wonder how I can help/encourage/comfort someone who's in the midst a problem?" What do you think? What kind of friend are you? Can you spot when your fellow brother or sister is in need? Do you even ask?
In Job 2:11-13, Job's friends initiated a leave-home-and-go-comfort-Job-even-if-it-takes-a-whole-week visit. When they saw Job...he was barely recognizable. His whole body was covered in sores and blood (reminds me of a certain Yeshua.) They began weeping and tearing their clothes, and they sat with Job for seven days and nights in moral support.
And we can't cut out a couple hours or even minutes to surround someone with love and compassion?
When we loose sight of how much God loves us and what Jesus Christ did for us, we forget the love and compassion He had on us. And if we forget His love and compassion, we have no desire to share it with others.
Stay in focus.
Erin
"But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how is it that you turn back again to the weak and worthless elemental things, to which you desire to be enslaved all over again?" Galations 4:9
This could be spread out into a million different lessons, but when I read it...I thought about how easily my emotions get run over by silly, petty things. I don't even think about it. I just let it control me, my thoughts, what I talk about. I too often meditate on MY problems, when in reality, they're not problems at all. They're just...dumb. Situations like the dog waking me up too early, realizing there's a stain on my white shirt, not getting my coffee fix in the morning, having heart strings pulled at, etc. The list goes on and on.
How many times do I wake up in the morning and say, "I wonder how I can help/encourage/comfort someone who's in the midst a problem?" What do you think? What kind of friend are you? Can you spot when your fellow brother or sister is in need? Do you even ask?
In Job 2:11-13, Job's friends initiated a leave-home-and-go-comfort-Job-even-if-it-takes-a-whole-week visit. When they saw Job...he was barely recognizable. His whole body was covered in sores and blood (reminds me of a certain Yeshua.) They began weeping and tearing their clothes, and they sat with Job for seven days and nights in moral support.
And we can't cut out a couple hours or even minutes to surround someone with love and compassion?
When we loose sight of how much God loves us and what Jesus Christ did for us, we forget the love and compassion He had on us. And if we forget His love and compassion, we have no desire to share it with others.
Stay in focus.
Erin
Monday, September 13, 2010
The Power of a Word (just some thoughts)
Words hurt.
Looking at this statement, you may think I'm crazy. Theyre just words, right? They cant cause physical pain. They are invisible in a sense. They arent something solid, something we can touch.
But they are.
They can cut deeper than any knife, and they can heal. They can break down, and build up.
People dont often see this. They dont realize how powerful words can be. So they say whatever.
Words leave scars that dont go away.
You can choose how you react to the words spoken to you, but you cant control what people say.
But why dont you start using your words to build up, to encourage.
The change could start with you.
Looking at this statement, you may think I'm crazy. Theyre just words, right? They cant cause physical pain. They are invisible in a sense. They arent something solid, something we can touch.
But they are.
They can cut deeper than any knife, and they can heal. They can break down, and build up.
People dont often see this. They dont realize how powerful words can be. So they say whatever.
Words leave scars that dont go away.
You can choose how you react to the words spoken to you, but you cant control what people say.
But why dont you start using your words to build up, to encourage.
The change could start with you.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Why Does God do this to me?
Hey guys, Chris again. Sorry it's been a long absense... Here are two blogs that I had written a while back, now in one! Yay!
~~~
When it seems like you're going through too much; when it seems like God has put out too much to handle; remember, He has a plan.
He will never leave you nor forsake you. He loves you. Truly loves you.
Not the love your boyfriend gives you. Or the love anybody gives you. True love.
He will never leave your side, cuz He has a plan for you.
He's always in control. Always. Nothing surprises God, He never says oops. He knows everything.
So trust Him. You trust people who don't know what's going to happen, why not He who does?
~~
Job wondered the same thing. He followed God to a T. He lived a holy life.
But tragedy fell. He persevered and followed God and was rewarded.
But why him? He asked, too. He even asked God. Yup, God Himself. What did I do? Why? I follow you!
God replied, "I am in control. Who made all of this earth? Who controls the dinosaur? Who is more powerful, you or me?"
People say God never answers Job in a good way. I think He gave a perfect answer. Because he is in control. That is why it happens.
He has a plan for you. Its bigger and better than you can imagine, you just can't see it yet. But remember:
HE is in control. Not you. Not your mom, your friends, whomever. HE is.
And He knows what He is doing. He is making you stronger. He uses your pain, your joy, every experience to make you who you are and will be.
So next time, don't ask, "why me?"
Say, "I know you are in control. Use this experience."
~~~
When it seems like you're going through too much; when it seems like God has put out too much to handle; remember, He has a plan.
He will never leave you nor forsake you. He loves you. Truly loves you.
Not the love your boyfriend gives you. Or the love anybody gives you. True love.
He will never leave your side, cuz He has a plan for you.
He's always in control. Always. Nothing surprises God, He never says oops. He knows everything.
So trust Him. You trust people who don't know what's going to happen, why not He who does?
~~
Job wondered the same thing. He followed God to a T. He lived a holy life.
But tragedy fell. He persevered and followed God and was rewarded.
But why him? He asked, too. He even asked God. Yup, God Himself. What did I do? Why? I follow you!
God replied, "I am in control. Who made all of this earth? Who controls the dinosaur? Who is more powerful, you or me?"
People say God never answers Job in a good way. I think He gave a perfect answer. Because he is in control. That is why it happens.
He has a plan for you. Its bigger and better than you can imagine, you just can't see it yet. But remember:
HE is in control. Not you. Not your mom, your friends, whomever. HE is.
And He knows what He is doing. He is making you stronger. He uses your pain, your joy, every experience to make you who you are and will be.
So next time, don't ask, "why me?"
Say, "I know you are in control. Use this experience."
Job 11:18
"You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety."
Job 11:18 NIV
Job 11:18 NIV
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